Lifestyle

Why I Love Going Out Alone and You Should Too

I’ve wanted to write about this for a while.

The first time I did something social on my own (sounds a bit oxymoronic) was when I was 18. I went to see Wanted at Cineworld. At 18 I was anxious about going to the cinema on my own. Now, I will happily watch two films in one dayย and not give a damn what anyone thinks. I’ve also been to gigs on my own and the biggest thing ever, was going to the o2 Arena in London.ย Perhaps this confidence and don’t-give-a-damn attitude comes with age.

There’s a stigma when a young woman is seen in public on her own. I don’t know why but I want to explore the reason this stigma exists and what we can do to combat it. So bare with me if this post lacks any real flow or coherence.

I really enjoy spending time alone. For a long time, especially in my early twenties, doing things on my own seemed scary and I felt that society pitied women seen out in public by themselves. For some reason people assume that if you’re eating out alone, at the cinema alone, a gig or anything like that then there must be something wrong with you. Maybe you were stood up. Maybe you have no social skills so you don’t have a close-knit circle of friends. Maybe you’re a closet misanthrope who alienates people with every word that comes out of your mouth so you’re avoided like the plague.

Who remembers that scene in FRIENDS where the hot doctor turns down a date opportunity with Rachel when she finally faces her fear and enjoys a meal by herself? He labelled her a freak. I love FRIENDS and I don’t take everything in it seriously, (or any sitcom for that matter) but art imitates life so who can say this scene didn’t echo a real life sentiment- why else would anyone find it funny?

If we’re honest with ourselves we invite people to do things with us because we’re scared of being alone. We’re afraid of how people will see us. We tell ourselves we don’t but we all care what other people think. I’m not arguing that hanging out with other people is bad. It’s wonderful to share experiences with another person. But I think we’re all guilty of pressuring a friend or SO to accompany us to some event because we’re scared to go on our own.

But let me tell you a secret – ย it’s so much fun to do things by yourself!

I have had a lot of fun doing things by myself. I’ve seen bands that I adore, watched films I enjoyed, seen comedians and grown roots in indie coffee shops that I love. All by myself. (Don’t lie, you sang that line).

One of the best things about doing social stuff by yourself is you get the FULL experience. There’s no temptation to talk and miss anything. You don’t have to worry if your friend or SO is enjoying the experience as much as you. There’s no guilt or embarrassment if said SO or friend thinks the activity you forced them into was a pile of crap.

I can’t tell you how sucky it is to force someone to go to the cinema with you, or see a band and they hated it or didn’t understand the film. What’s the point of that?

I implore you to do something by yourself this week. If you’re afraid to eat out alone, go to the cinema or see a band you love, PLEASE don’t miss the opportunity because it means going on your own! Life is way too short to miss out on great, fun experiences that will be emblazoned in your memory. Have the guts to reject the status quo and go out and enjoy yourself. Trust me when I tell you that people don’t bat an eyelid. They’re way too concerned with themselves.

I won’t lie. It takes guts to take the first step and hang out with yourself. But you’ll feel so happy afterwards. Let me know what you get up to.

Love black pistachio x

 

 

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11 thoughts on “Why I Love Going Out Alone and You Should Too”

  1. Yes!! I couldn’t agree with you more! Once went to a music festival by myself (Made in america in Philadelphia) and it was lovely. Love shopping by myself too! Haha! It’s a great skill to have and it’s wonderful to be able to enjoy your own company!! Great post! Had so much fun reading it! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!! And *high five* I’ve never done a music festival before. Gigs, yes, but that should probably be a goal. I really want to go on holiday by myself this year. Thank you for commenting ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes! Definitely do it! I went to Miami solo by myself and it was fabulous!! Go for it! You won’t regret it! One of my earlier posts was about tips on how to do a solo vacation! Great post! ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I went to an event on my own last year and it was easily one of my favourite experiences. Since then I’ve treated myself to a cinema date and wondered why I insist on going with people. The only thing I am not yet comfortable with is eating alone in a restaurant. I know it’s the social stigma of woman on her own that holds me back but maybe this year I shall overcome it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve never thought about going a gig or the cinema on my own. Lunch, shopping or having coffee on my own isn’t something I think twice about to be honest. Maybe it is the pressure of society as thinking about doing something as sociable or seen as so sociable, such as the cinema or a big event, seems so daunting or alien. If you think about it though we probably don’t do enough things for ourselves and miss out on so much because we think the other person won’t like it or won’t want to do it. Its made me think a lot more about me beh beh! Good on you for doing it all!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. well for me, i cannot speak about anyone else, the reason why doing everything solo gets tiring is because i do EVERYTHING solo. I am single, I don’t have friends, my family isn’t nearby, I am not close to anyone, so every single aspect of my life is always encountered by myself.

        Sure, doing small things like shopping or going to the movies by yourself is fun and I think everyone should do it. But then when you’re facing EVERYTHING alone – i’m facing my health issues alone. I go to every function alone. I make life decisions alone. I go days without talking to people, days without having deep thoughtful conversations where I don’t have to censor myself, days where I feel like the weight of solo is causing me to drown.

        alone gets tiring.

        Like

  4. Yesss… ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ thank you for addressing this! There is nothing wrong with enjoying an event, going to the cinema or having dinner by yourself. Society and the media has life all messed up and have us thinking that we will look sad, as if we donโ€™t have friends, etc. Sometime last week, I invited two friends with me to a networking event and both had canceled because of their own reasoning. I was debating for hoursss whether I should still go or not, and I am glad I did after all! Iโ€™m sure if I went with them I wouldโ€™ve had a different experience.

    Liked by 1 person

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